You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
