it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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