who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
