Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
