Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
