I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
