This girl is more easily done than said...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
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Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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