hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
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How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
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