Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
