I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
