you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
