he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
