if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
