You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
