I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize