i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
