Bisexual people are plain selfish.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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