I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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