Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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