yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
