whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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