Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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