I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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