His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
