Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
