They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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