I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
