It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My breasts were aching with rage.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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