She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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