K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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