some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
