Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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