cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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