She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Please don't give away my fajitas
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
