i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
