just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
