found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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