and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
