My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
