are you still at the devil's house?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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