Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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