You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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