So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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