So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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