i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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