Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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