she was so not down for the gang bang
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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