That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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