There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
