Michael Bay diarrhea
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
do herpes really smell.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
