the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
