I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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