Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
