Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
