omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?