You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.