party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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