it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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