Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
