hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
