DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
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