this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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