When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
