please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Randomize
